Recently I was granted an interview with King David - from the old testament - you know, Goliath and all.  I know it struck me as hard to believe too but what can I say.  I have been fascinated with King David for years.  I've taught about him to children and adults but I can't say I ever completely understood him.  How could he really be a man after God's heart?  I knew this was my chance to ask him some questions. 

He asked to meet in a Buffalo Wild Wings (turns out he likes spicy wings).  After a little chatter to get to know one another, I launched into my questioning.  I thought you guys might be interested so I provide the following from our dialog.

Dalen: So, David, may I call you David?

David: Certainly.  We can be informal here today.  I get a little tired of all the "King" stuff anyway.  I was a shepherd after all.  It's not like I grew up in a palace.  I spent most of my youth in a tent with the smell of sheep hanging in the air - and that was none too pleasant let me tell you!

Dalen: Great, thanks.  So, David, I'm going to focus on parenting during our conversation.

David: Ouch!  Why don't you pick a tough subject.  I'd rather talk about warfare, or even the Philistines, anything but parenting.

Dalen:  I'm glad to hear you say that.  I sometimes think it is just me that struggles with parenting.

David:  Are you kidding!  Parenting is tough, Dalen, I struggled with it my entire life.  As I look back on my life, I wish I had done things differently.

Dalen: Really?

David:  I don't think I represent God well in my own parenting.  I turned my head on too many things my children did.  It's funny, I could rule a nation but not my children.

Dalen:  You know where I am going with this conversation.  You know I am going to ask about the tough times with some of your children, David.

David:  I figured as much. 

Dalen:  Tell me about Amnon and Tamar.

David:  Wow!  You jump right into the tough stuff don't you? 

Dalen:  Yes, sir.

David:  This is one event when I should have jumped into the middle of it early.  But, I was busy with politics and I let it go.  I had heard things and I knew I should intervene but it is tough to deal with family matters.  It was much easier for me to focus on work.

Dalen:  This is still happening today.

David:  As you know, Amnon and Tamar were half-brother and sister.  Amnon became sexual attracted to Tamar to put it bluntly. I know he said he was in "love" with her but it was not love - it was lust.  Unfortunately, my nephew, Jonadab, did not help things.  In fact, he made it worse and he got me into the middle of it.

Dalen:  So, what did you do when you found out what happened?

David:  I was furious of course and I should have taken strong and decisive action.  Maybe not to the point of death for Amnon but some punishment was needed.  I should have spoken with Tamar and Absalom but I let it go.  This allow disappear to grow in Tamar's heart and rage to grow in Absalom's heart.  I take the blame for this.

Dalen:  You and I both know this is not the end of the story.

David:  The sin was avenged in the murder of Amnon by Absalom but this just allowed caused the rage to continue to grow in Absalom.  Even when I brought Absolum back to Jerusalem, I did not talk with him.  For two years I did not even let him come to me.  As his father, I should have been talking with him and counseling him but I did not. 

Dalen:  Tell me about Absalom.  Things got worse with him.

David:  He was a beautiful child  and a handsome man - whom I loved - and always will.  But, he was rebellious and proud.  Sin had grown in Absalom's heart and Absalom was listening to the wrong people.  When you couple bad advice with his pride and his rebellious nature - well, you get the point.

Dalen:  How can you still love him?  He overthrew your government.

David:  He was my son.  Don't get me wrong, I hated what he was doing and I knew what I had to do but I loved him.  God gave this child to me.  Even in the bad times with Absalom, God was in control.

Dalen:  How can you even say that God gave him to you?  This was a very bad situation.

David:  True.  But, our God does not make mistakes.  I don't know why God allowed this to happen.  I don't know why Absalom had to rebel and then die; but, it was for a reason that only God knows.

Dalen:  You mourned for Absalom.

David:  Absolutely!  I did not want his death.  I miss him to this day.  But, Joab, did a wise thing.  I had a duty to my men.  Yes, I missed Absalom and I mourned his death but my men had served bravely.  I had to recover and honor them for their service to me.

Dalen:  David, in Acts 13 you re called "a man after God's own heart."  It goes on to say, "that you will do everything God wants you to do."  However, It sounds like there were shortcomings in your parenting skills.  Help me understand Acts 13?

David:  Just keep in mind, I was a man - just like you.  I had weaknesses and I struggled everyday to grow closer to God.  There are many things in my life I would like to have done differently.  But, God was leading me - even in my times of weakness.  I sought his forgiveness often!  I trusted his wisdom always!  I tried to learn from my mistakes and live a God told me to live.  But, please remember, I was not some mystical hero that lived above real life.

Dalen:  Do you have any advice for fathers?

David:  First, seek God in your family and in your relationship with your children.  This is sometimes uncomfortable but do it!  Second, insert yourself into the lives of your children.  Do not turn your back on them - ever.  Third, don't accept their mistakes and sins - take every opportunity to correct and teach.  Lastly, seek God in your family and in your relationship with your children.

Dalen:  David, you repeat that last point twice.

David:  I know.

Dalen:  David, thank you very much for your time today.  It has been an absolute pleasure talking with you.

David:  Likewise!  God's blessing on you!